I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Randomize
