What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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