he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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