Me. At least after what I've been through.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
