he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
