Can Purell be used as lube?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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