Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
