MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize