I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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