I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Randomize
