Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
