i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
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