all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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