I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Randomize
