3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
