he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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