i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
