so explain again why im purple
no
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize