question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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