I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
