I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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