Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
