We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize