I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
nutella sex= disaster
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
