Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
