just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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