batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
He better not be in your backpack
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
