I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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