Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
