if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
