I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
