Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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