I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Randomize