Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
