JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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