When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
not ubering you a puppy
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
