Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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