"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
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