why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
