Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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