This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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