If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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