woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
