so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize