wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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