well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
