Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
