Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
