I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
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