you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize