so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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