somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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