So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize