I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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