We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
