So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
