IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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