How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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