I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
