Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
