No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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