i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
they're like a gay fantastic four
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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