I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
