The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I understand Curling. That high.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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