Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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