Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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