I puked a lego.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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