Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
