Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.

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(703): View more from Virginia

then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"

(773): View more from Illinois

I forgot about that,good spring break.

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(517): View more from Michigan

I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.

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(636): View more from Missouri

You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased

(314): View more from Missouri

Please be lying.

(636): View more from Missouri

Im not. Your family was creeped out

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(513): View more from Ohio

5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation

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(+61): View more from Australia

After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect

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(206): View more from Washington

Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.

(425): View more from Washington

I've never been so happy to be celibate.

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