I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Help. Why am I so naked?
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