my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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