people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I am one with the molecules
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
