just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
