I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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