Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
