Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Success! We fucked roommates!
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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