So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
