do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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