Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
