Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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