no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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