I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
